Praying for my Son when He’s gone

Last night was a first.  As I left my son at the middle school lock-in at my church, I thought about how many times I had walked away from him. Not walking down the hall or simply walking into another room.  I pondered about walking away from his dependence.

Sure, TechDaddy and I had left MrC overnight before with family. When he was little, he and his sister had stayed with one of my sister’s and her crew while hubby and I enjoyed an anniversary cruise.  But this was different.

In a nutshell, after almost five years of going to the same church, we are now getting involved in the youth ministry {both middle and high school}.  So when this lock-in popped up, MrC said yes purely for the opportunity to meet new friends.

So last night rolls around and my hubby and I bring our boy.  Staying to help with dinner setup and clean up for about 50 kids {pizza!}, TechDaddy and I hung around for a couple of hours.  {Don’t worry, we were in adult-mode but totally staying clear of our son.  You know, the “free-space from parents” mode.}

Then, after the kids had moved on to another activity and we had cleaned up, TechDaddy and I began our walk to the door.  Me, being a total mom, slipped over to MrC who was resting from a game of beachball volleyball.  After v e r y   q u i e t l y exchanging some “I love you”s and slipping him a buck for candy, I joined TD by the door.

And then I walked away from my son.

I didn’t feel it until later, after we got home and were spending time with Catz.  But the emptiness was thick. In my home his absence was real and heavy.  No jokes or funny quips abounded.  The sound of MrC jumping onto the stair landings was missing. And in my heart the ache was visceral.

Then this morning I woke with the reminder that my son is not in my home.  And while the rest of my family slept, I walked upstairs to his room, curled up on his bed, and prayed.

My prayers covered his heart, like the ones I spoke to Papa days and weeks and months and years before today. Prayers that begged for protection, both physical and emotional.  Prayers requesting my boy be happy and safe in his new environment.  Prayers that God would guide my son through every step and stage of his life.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.    Jeremiah 29:11

But my prayers also covered me.  That my Father would shore up my heart against the ache that comes when learning to give way to my boy’s growing independence.  The ache that hurts longer and deeper than those birth pains from over 13 years ago.

My boy is home now, happily snacking and laughing with the rest of us as we watch a movie all huddled up on one couch. And though I feel a twinge of what is to come as I continue to hand over more and more independence, I feel content in knowing that my Father’s hand is guiding my precious son and that all of my prayers are heard and stored away in the heart of the One who loves my boy more than I ever could.

You also might like...