31 Days to Make Your Marriage Thrive: Day 4 – Take a shower together {gasp!}

NOTE: Ladies {and gents} you may want to be extra careful about who’s reading this over your shoulder today!  This is a PG blog, but today you might want the kiddos to go read a book.  Or clean the toilet. Or something else constructive. 
{Hey there! Thanks for stopping by to follow my new series 31 Days to Make Your Marriage Thrive.  Every day in the month of October I’ll be giving you tips and tricks on how to make your marriage spectacular. Feel free to follow me on Twitter @LilbearMe  for more #31dmymt, and check the bottom of this post for the beginning posts of this series!}

Day 4 – Take a shower or bath together.

Wow. Doesn’t sound too difficult, does it? Pretty straightforward and doesn’t need much explaining, right??

Ladies, when was the last time you took a shower or bath with your husband?  Okay, don’t answer that because I’m afraid you’re going to tell me “Never” or “Uh, what decade is this?”  Not to get all steamy here {pardon the pun}, but there’s more to spending time with your man in some hot water than you think.

Taking a shower together gives you both a chance to relax.  The hot spray can wash away the stresses at the end of a long, hectic day or charge you both up to start your morning right.  It’s a quick way to get clean so you have time for other things…like talking!

On the other hand, a bath is a more leisurely way to spend time together.  Soaking in a tub of hot water has a great way of melting away any issues and helping you get more connected to one another.

Setting the Scene  
First of all, you don’t have to have a celebrity-sized bathroom or a huge garden tub to enjoy a little water together.  In our first apartment as newlyweds, my husband and I enjoyed several soaks and showers in a standard tub.  It can be done.  Sometimes it may seem like a tight fit if you’re tall, but that makes it more fun.

Let’s talk about setting the scene. Placing a few candles around the room sends a warm, soft glow that feels relaxing and inviting.  If they’re scented with a subtle vanilla or your own favorite aroma, that’s even better. {Our fave is called Christmas cookie.}

If the candles are unscented but you still want a pretty smell in the room, try spritzing just a bit of your own perfume in the air.  Or here’s another idea.  I love the smell of bath salts and gels, but I don’t necessarily want that smell on my skin.  

Before our shower or bath, I’ll heat up a cup or two of water in the microwave and bring it to the bathroom. Then I just drop a little bath salt ball in and let the aroma drift about the room. 

What about the kids? 
 ”But we have a newborn…how can we take a shower together?”  That’s easy.  Babies are very agreeable when water is running.  The sound seems to soothe them.

When our daughter was an infant, we’d put her to sleep in her angled bouncy seat placed right in front of the shower.  That way we could see her while spending some water time with each other.  Just wait until your little one is fed and dry, put her to sleep in her carseat or swing near the shower or tub, and enjoy while keeping an eye on her.

If you have older children, that’s when you get more creative.  Who says your bath has to be at a certain time?  Use the hour that works with your kids’ schedules.  If they’re asleep by 7pm, then make your shower or bath date for 7:30 or 8.  If they stay up late, why not have an early morning shower together?

Of course, sleepovers at grandma’s house or with a friend are like bonus points!  Grab those opportunities whenever you can.


The strategy for your shower or bath can be up to you.  If your plan is to relax and talk, then do that.  If something else is up your sleeve, go for it.  And ladies, there are no rules against you surprising your man.  Imagine how thrilled he would be to have you join him even for a quick morning shower before he dashes off to work.

The whole purpose behind taking a shower or bath with your husband is for you both to get connected and stay connected.  When you feel in-sync with each other it makes for a marriage that thrives!

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Here’s the rest of the series “31 Days to Make Your Marriage Thrive”:
For more 31 Days series’ visit The Nester.

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  1. prairiejuan says:

    I have to say that I am saddened and shocked if women are NOT showering or bathing regularly with their husbands! It's sometimes the ONLY time we can get alone together. It saves water too! ;) Seriously women, do it! You will not regret it.

  2. I agree! LOL! Am I really typing that publicly?! We started that habit early in our marriage, and enjoy it to this day. More than anything, I love the undivided attention we are "forced" to give to each other – there's no computer or phones or books that survive well in the shower. :)

  3. Yes, it takes some reminding to myself that this is 'play time' not 'business time' we should take more time to play together in stead of the usual lather, rinse, and repeat.

    Thanks for the reminder I might have to break out the bath salts tonight. ;)

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